


Tense

by SrebrnaFH



Series: In their sleep [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, Guilt, M/M, bed, sleeping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 01:41:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16420013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SrebrnaFH/pseuds/SrebrnaFH
Summary: Sherlock watches John sleeping and feels guilty.





	Tense

Sherlock would have liked to watch John sleep, but he doesn’t dare to. Whenever he can - when he is working late, or waking up early - he takes a long, proper look that he records in his Mind Palace for later perusal. But he doesn’t  _watch_  John.

Because John is never really properly  _asleep_. John is like a guard waiting for an enemy to come. John is all coiled up and almost shivering, as long years of dedicated service, both in the ranks and as Sherlock’s supportive partner, has left an indelible mark on his mind and soul.

John in his sleep vibrates like a guitar cord.

Sherlock doesn’t have the heart to watch him like this - no matter whether he curls up or stretches out, the soldier is always ready for action.

Sometimes Sherlock feels guilty. It is his fault that John feels the need for constant vigilance, the soul-crushing anxiety of one continuously required to be wary of his surroundings. Even here, even in his - their - bedroom, John is unable to just let the world go. And it is all because of Sherlock. He wanted it. He wanted them to become  _them_. Well, John wanted that too, the whole affair was entirely consensual. And yet, and yet, the trace of guilt remains. Sherlock had been the one to make the first move, and John followed - as usual.

On the other hand, if he considers the options, there was nothing else they could have done. He had already tried  _not_  being with John. And it was quite, in fact, impossible. He would much rather have all the pains and all the risks directly related to the way their intimacy had progressed than even entertain the idea of John  _not_  being right there, in their bed, by his side.

John paid for it and is paying for it every day and every day. There is only one thing that allows him to relax and lets him sleep in a truly restful fashion, and Sherlock will administer it immediately, as soon as he records John’s face again.

He curls up behind John, pulling the tired, taut body into his longer form, into his warmth and closeness, and pulls the duvet over the two of them.

John slowly, slowly relaxes with a soft, sweet sigh.

Sherlock’s hand slowly sneaks under John’s nightclothes and softly caresses the trail of kitten-soft hair there, pulling his lover closer into his embrace.

“Sleep. I am here” he whispers.

“Just hold me” John’s voice is rough and tired. “Just hold me and it will all be better.”

**Author's Note:**

> I was kind of imagining at the same time them in the modern universe and them in TAB universe.


End file.
